Earlier in my career, I was fortunate enough to work with Warren Mitofsky , a seminal figure in public opinion research and considered one of the creators or the exit poll in covering elections.
…but Warren had a reputation for being blunt.
The first couple of times I was on the receiving end of this:
→ It stung
→ Bruised my ego
→ Made me question if I wanted to work with him
After some time, I began to appreciate the clarity of this and I started repeating back what I was hearing to avoid any of my emotional noise to cause me to misunderstand.
I did not realize it at the time, but I was practicing ‘mirroring’ - a powerful tool communication tool to avoid misunderstandings.
As leaders, we can’t dance around tough conversations, fearing we'll hurt someone's feelings.
Poor communication:
→ Breeds misunderstandings
→ Missed deadlines
→ and mediocre results.
When this is done right:
→ It cuts through the noise
→ Aligns expectations
→ and drives results.
The primary characteristic and skill required to do this right is empathy.
You need to be able to put yourself in the seat of the person you’re talking to.
Blunt communication is:
→ Specific and actionable and never vague
→ Focused on behaviors and is never personal
→ Delivered with good intentions
If this style of communication is not part of the core values of your organization (it should be), it can be good to ask for permission first:
For example,
“Are you ok if I give you some direct feedback with the intention of helping you understand what I need?”
This allows the receiver (who may not be used to this style of communication) to be better prepared to receive the feedback.
And then, ask the people you’re giving the feedback to, to mirror back what they are hearing.
This ensures that you’re both aligned with your expectations.
Embrace the power of blunt communication and mirroring.
Your team - and your bottom line - will thank you.
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