It’s not hard for my mind to get trapped into the challenges of the day - perceived threats…
Deadlines, bills, customer needs, family commitments, did I work out enough, etc…
Each day I use a variety of techniques for ‘staying in the moment’ - ‘mindfulness’ to ensure the managed chaos of my life does not rob me of the gifts I’m surrounded by.
Daily gratitude practices are really helpful as well (love the new Journal app on the iPhone).
But then there is this voice: ”wait, I thought I would be ‘here’ by ‘now’ and I’m not!” (usually unreasonable expectations that ignore the growth that’s already taken place).
Every year, I take time to make sure I understand ‘why’ I am doing what I’m doing.
Dying Before you Die Meditations
The first time I was introduced to this idea, it seemed a bit morbid…but I explored this and learned the deep spiritual history of this practice and the intent.
If you’re unfamiliar with this practice, for me, it is about being fully aligned with how I put myself out in the world by removing my ego and the obligations and ties in my life….clear all that away…how do I want to be remembered?
This provides me with a tremendous amount of freedom in my daily life…knowing that I am acting in alignment with the values that are most important to me. Somehow ‘right sizes’ everything else that’s going on in my life.
The simplest form of this meditation is to visualize what you hope people will say about you after you're gone…imagining the ‘celebration of life party’ or funeral, whatever allows you to envision how people will be sharing how they experienced you in life.
I’ve yet to do this and have anyone in my vision talking about how much money I had, how successful my businesses were, the cars I drove…or what I weighed ;)
An abridged version of how I hope to be remembered is first and foremost as a kind, loving husband and father; someone dedicated to family. A reliable and cherished friend. A thoughtful leader with integrity. A committed coach and mentor….In all cases putting out love and service in helping others enrich their lives as they have enriched mine.
Remember, these are aspirational…I do fall short of the mark…but they are guiding principles and values I can follow in all my interactions and help me stay unstuck from the draw of my ego.
When I have the privilege of mentoring other business owners, they are usually looking for some kind of ‘change’. I recommend going through this exercise. I believe it’s important to be grounded in this way so you can take the next step of asking yourself the following questions about your desired ‘transformations’:
You want to scale your business…why?
You want to start a business…why?
You want to move from engineering to team leadership…why?
You want to do or have ‘‘X’...why?
Thinking about these questions can often expose deeper insights.
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